NEWEST!  Latest tourist invention of the 20th century!  Tourist offer organized by Yugoslav Tourist Association  If you have always wanted to experience a true excitement...  If you think that you saw all the sights in the world...  If you want more than your TV screen may offer you..  To enter a totally real virtual world of an arcade video game..  ..to be on the spot.. to achieve your mission..                                 ..welcome to..  STRIKE AGAINST YUGOSLAVIA - LIVE !  Great deal, one of a kind!  For the first time in Europe, first time in the World!  Attractive! Exciting! Magnificent! Unbelievable!  Enjoy it to the sickness!

CITIES!  Belgrade, Batajnica, Pancevo, Novi Sad, Subotica, Sombor, Valjevo,Uzice, Nis, Aleksinac, Krusevac, Kragujevac, Pec, Cuprija, Podgorica,Prizren, Kursumlija, Vranje, Kosovska Mitrovica, and many moredevastated places!  SPECIAL PRIZE!  If you find ONE city that suffered no bombing & damage, here's what you get:  Two week tour around the country visiting refugees of all nationalities!  Pay a visit to all the refugees stationed in Serbia, Albanians included!  To the rest of our guests, we recommend specially attractive places!  Rock concerts at Belgrade bridges and last halfly-ruined bridge in Novi Sad! (Novi Sad is booked)  Feel the atmosphere with live bombing coverage, specialeffects & lightshow!

ACCOMMODATIONS  Extremely comfortable shelters of Hyatt Regency Hotel and many other popular places. For our guests with a skin-deep pocket, we offer private accommodation among many moldy shelters around and below buildings, which will be generously shared with Yugoslav old people and children!  Watch the children grow and play inside the shelters and basements!  DAILY ACTIVITIES  During the day guests pay many visits to demolished buildings, ruined or totally devastated facilities and many ambient ruins where they can take some of the debris as a no charge souvenir -but not lighter than 20 pounds!  Traditional 50 pound rock necklaces or a pendant only 9.95!  Cross country running with the air-raid sirens, fishing below the bridge, camping beneath the TV emitter and many other activities!  Extra - after midnight visit to chemical and petroleum facilities!  For those who care about their fitness and health, we organize morning route of 3 miles running and exercise, breathing freshly depleted uranium!

PAYMENT
Since there are many interested ladies and gentlemen among EU and NATO countries, all of our guests who apply within next
week will be granted a generous discount of 5% per cash payment and 50% per S-300 payment.We take credit cards - "American Regret", "NO VISA", "Blast'em Hard".

GUARANTEES
We guarantee that NATO Alliance will strictly respect their promise and continue intensive bombing of Yugoslavia in order to improve Yugoslav tourism, since all the other sources of development are damaged or endangered, and since there are no other reasons to continue this aggression.
If there would be no bomby-days during your staying in Yugoslavia, or if some break happens, and if you don't see at least 10
civilians killed per two nights of bombing - money back guarantee.

RECOMMENDATIONS
The people of Yugoslavia would gladly share their daily food portions and supplies, but we strongly recommend you to bring your own food and luxuries such as peanut butter, caviar, maple syrup etc. UNLESS you want to experiencethe full impression of being a Serb in their own country. If you're not sure with whom are you talking to on the field and if you can't recognize his nationality, which is a common thing, you may know who the Serbs are at any occasion - an average Serb will never say
"I did NOT had sexual relationship with that woman."

ACTIVITIES
This program is supervised by most of the world humanitarian organizations such as EU, NATO, UN, OSCE, MMF, KLA, KKC, ETA and many others, for a sake of globalization,peace, stability and democracy.

In first attack, the administrative LSA building housing relentless propaganda mashine on its fifth floor was targeted. University's radio station was knocked off the air. The University Housing adiministration claims that 5 journalists and 2 janitors were injured in attack, two of them seriously. Few days later the President's residency in downtown Ann Arbor was targeted with two cruise missiles and succesfully destroyed. President Duderstadt was not at home at the time of attack and was not available for comment.

NATO Mid-West Command spokesman regreted the lost of lives when University's blue bus was destroyed while crossing the stategic bridge love Huron river.  Irronically, bus was full of mostly foreign students heading for classes in Central Campus. University's administration claims that 22 students and woman bus driver died on the scene. Bridge links North and Central campus of Univeristy of Michigan. "We deeply regret the lost of human lifes and investigation is ungoing. However, we consider the bridge an important military target and its destruction will prevent the resupply of University's special police forces stationed in North Campus area".

Today the Mid-West Command spokesman denied that University's only nuclear reactor will be targeted at any time. "The Ford nuclear reactor is not a treat to NATO's security since its successfull transition to LEU fuel some time ago", the spokesman was quoted tosay.

NATO WILL BE ACTIVATING W.W.I. PLANES AND TESTING NEW TYPES OF BOMBS:

"DEMON IN A DRESS"  Heffer -class mass destruction bomb named after Secretary of State Albricht.
It is a 300 pound mother of a bomb,packed with compressed hot air and PMS explosives.

'JANET RHINO'  Waco-Firebomb version.  This 500 pound, 7 foot monstrousity will take out as many as 89 women and children in a wack!  Nicknamed "Butch" by first lady Clinton, is said to be dropped over Yugoslavia in pairs, in the "69" configuration, for more bang.  N.A.T.O. has great hope that this one will create panic and fear among the yugoslav civilians, especially the women folk.

'CLINTON CLUSTER BOMB'   Specs are 250 pounds, mostly container, with little whomp.
Mostly for show, as when dropped from 15,000 ' it will whine and and parse noices. Will make no impact and soon forgotten.
Active ingredient in this cluster bomb is cheeseburger and saturated fat. Name of the Bomb is a mis-nomer, as it does not have any cluster.
Names such as "Draftdodger", or "Big Monica" were disregarded by N.A.T.O.  out of respect for chickens and pigs, respectively.
                                                * * * * *
N.A.T.O.   NEWS FLASH !
NATO APOLOGIZES FOR THE BOMBING OF THE CHINESE EMBASSY - IT WAS A MISTAKE.   ACTUAL TARGET WAS A MATERNITY WARD, NEXT TO AN OPEN AIR MARKET.
WE REGRET MISSING THE CIVILIAN TARGET, BUT,
"WE WILL GET IT RIGHT, NEXT TIME"

NATO ALSO WANTS TO ASSURE THE VATICAN THAT IT HAS NO IMMEDIATE PLANS TO BOMB THE HOLY SEAT.  BESIDES, THE WEATHER IN ITALY RIGHT NOW IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO BOMBINGS.   OUR PLANES WILL ONLY FLY IN SUNSHINE; THE VATICAN IS SAFE FROM NATO, FOR NOW.
                                          =end of  NATO comunique=
H.Q.
ADOLF VON KRUPP
GAULEITER NEW NATO

CC: CLINTON, WASHINGTON DC
CC: GENERAL D.E.LIVERY, ASUNCION
CC: S.I. EIGHEIL, BUENOS AIRES

                       'PEACE THROUGH BOMBING'
                              THE END
(from Casey / MIT - USA - E-mail known to us)